One Hell of a Vacation
by Topaz Chocobo
Summary: The gang from FFVII goes on vacation. Then all hell breaks loose. And it all started with a bet. A little something put together for a good laugh.


_A/N: - _Words of Warning

This is my 1st fan fic so please be kind. Also this fic is rated R due to Cid and Barret's language. If you're sensitive to this kind of language then I suggest that you don't read it. Although I try to use as little profanity as I can, none of it is edited out or censored. Anyway, you have been warned.

_Disclaimer - _Sadly I don't own Final Fantasy 7. SquareEnix does. I only own a copy of the game and this story. Constructive criticism is greatly welcomed and flames will be tolerated. Please R&R and enjoy.

_**One Hell of a Vacation**_

_By: Topaz Chocobo_

The sun was shining brightly in the sky as it sent down cancerous, ultraviolet rays of light down upon the residents of Costal Del Sol. The people there are much more happier and calmer after they have been reassured that Meteor has finally been stopped and that Sephiroth was dead. Now they all resumed back to their regular lives and our heroes have token this as an opportunity for vacation. After parking Highwind at the heliport near the coast AVALANCHE enters Costal Del Sol.

"Yaay!! I say it's about time we had a vacation, after all those battles and saving the world and all, don'cha think?" said the energetic ninja as she skipped along the path with a pail and shovel in her hand. "I mean, we deserve this!!"

Barret snorted. "Damn right we do!! No one deserves this more than we do. I'm looking forward to a nice cold tall beer. What do ya say, Cid?"

His friend smirked at him with a cigarette in his mouth. "Just point the way to the damn bar and we'll drink till we're pissing the shit!"

"I want to go to the beach and get a tan," chimed in Tifa cheerfully, "I bought this great new bathing suit and I want to try it on." Letting the statement sink in, Cid and Barret considered about rethinking their plans.

"On second though, we could just so swimming with you, Tifa," replied Barret as he flashed her a cheesy smile.

"Yeah, I heard that shity water was actually good for ya," added Cid.

"You aught to get a tan too, Vinnie. I bet you'd actually look cute in a Speedo," teased Yuffie as she repeatedly poked him in the shoulder with her shovel.

"..." was Vincent's respond as he pondered over the though. Everyone else just shuddered. Vincent glanced over his comrades with a puzzled look and felt as though that he had just been deeply insulted.

Tifa moved closer towards Cloud. "Will you be joining me, Cloud?" she asked batting her eyes at him as she took hold of his arm.

Slightly uneasy about her behavior, he pulled away from her, releasing her grip from his arm. "Sorry, Tifa. I was planning on doing a little surfing." Tifa looked at him disappointedly while the rest of the gang burst out laughing. "What's so funny?!"

"You think you can balance on a surf board?" asked Cait Sith between laughs.

"I bet I can balance on YOU if I wanted to!!" snapped Cloud.

"I'd like to see that," said Nanaki, or Red XII as the group like to call him.

"Hey, don't make me drag you out there and drown you," threaten Cloud.

"Hey, Cid, 500 gil says that he falls off the board within three seconds," bet Barret.

"One second. Double or nothing,"

"Deal."

"I'll show you!!" shouted Cloud as he stormed off toward the beach with AVALANCHE giggling at him from behind.

On the beach Tifa was lying in a lounge chair rubbing suntan lotion over her body as she sported off her new and very revealing bathing suit trying to get a tan while Barret and Cid stood from afar watching her as they pretended to play volley ball. Yuffie was building a sand castle in the sand with Cait Sith with Red sleeping at their side under a beach umbrella. Cloud had rented a surfboard and was in the water with Vincent who was dragged out there to be 'the one who had witnessed his great balance.' Vincent stood silently in the water with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Cloud prove his worth. But the main reasons why he didn't moved a muscle was because he was in a brand spanking new Speedo that Yuffie had bought for him and that he was terrified to death of jellyfishes. That, and the fact that he was also working on his tan.

"Alright, Vincent. You're gonna be my witness, ok? I'm gonna stand on this surfboard and surf a wave for more than five seconds. We'll see who has the last laugh!" cried Cloud as he trotted off into open waters.

Vincent glanced over to the others on the beach. They seemed to be watching Tifa a lot more than they are Cloud. Vincent sigh as he began to feel his face and chest become unbearably warmer. Time to switch sides, he though as he turned his back to Cloud and also stared at Tifa.

Further out at sea, Cloud gripped onto his surfboard tightly. "I'll show them," he mumbled as he mounted himself up on the board and paddled a little further into the wide sea. He laid on his board and waited for the perfect wave to surf. After ten minutes of waiting he saw a tall wave rise up in the distance. "Awesome. This is what I've been waiting for," he said as he waited for the wave to approach him.

Cloud doesn't know a single thing about surfing so he didn't know that he was suppose to paddle out to the wave and approach it from behind. He also doesn't know how to stand on a surfboard since he hasn't practice once in his whole entire life. So he sat there in open water as the wave came into view and the crest of the wave towered over him. He was beginning to be a little worried.

"Oh shi--" was all he can get out before he swallowed a mouthful of saltwater and was dragged under the surface. After that the rest was all just a blur. Cloud remembered being tossed and shoved by the current of the water. He desperately swam to the surface for he knew that he was running out of air. When his head hit the surface he took in a deep breath of air and clung tightly to his board beside him.

"Hehe...didn't expect it to go that well," Cloud said as he wiped the saltwater from his eyes. Then when he can see clearly again he froze and his bright blue eye grew wide in terror. He had realized that he was surrounded by three sharks that were circling around him. 'Oh shit...' though Cloud to himself as he tried very hard not to move.

_Back on the beach..._

Tifa has fallen asleep while trying to acquire a tan and being the good friends that they were Barret and Cid sought out to make sure that she didn't get sun burn or skin cancer. So they sat there and rubbed suntan lotion on her body for her. Meanwhile, Vincent was still in the water eyeing his friends jealously while Red has just awoken from his nap and was now looking over Yuffie's and Cait Sith's work.

"Wooh-pah!! Our masterpiece is complete!" cheered Yuffie as she threw sand up into the air and gazed at her work proudly.

"Yep, finally finished," said Cait Sith who was just as proud about their work.

Red took another look at their so-called 'masterpiece'. It was nothing more than a pile of sand that was formed from Yuffie's pail with a small ditch made around it. There was patches of seaweed on either side of the sand mound and very little water was found in the ditch as the sand soon absorbed the moisture dry.

"Nice job you guys," said Red sarcastically.

"Why thank you, Red," said Yuffie as she patted him on his wet nose, clearly not noticing the hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Um...how long have I been sleeping?" he asked.

"I'd say for about an hour," Cait Sith told him.

"It took you guys an hour to make this?!" Red asked in disbelief.

"Oh no, this took us a few minutes to build," exclaimed Yuffie, "It took us almost an hour to dig that," she said as she pointed to a rather large and deep hole just off to the side of Red XIII. "We figured it would be someone's grave but we haven't decide who to put in it."

"I see..." replied Red. He sat and watch Cait Sith and Yuffie quietly as they build yet another 'masterpiece'.

_Back at sea..._

"God, I'm hungry!!! And my back is really starting to hurt!!" whined Cloud to no one in particular, except maybe the sharks who were still keeping him company out at sea. The saltwater was starting to burn Cloud's skin to a raw red which were making the sharks very excited.

"I need to let someone on the beach know that I'm in danger," he said to himself as he squinted his eyes from the sun and looked out toward the beach. "A lifeguard, coastguard, drowning boy, anyone will do, just help me!!" he pleaded as his gaze fell upon a familiar figured that was standing in the water. "Vincent...?" he said as the name escaped his lips in a gasp. He can help me, if I can just get his attention though Cloud as he careful began to stand on his board.

_Meanwhile..._

Still in the water Vincent silently cursed under his breath as he continued to watch Cid and Barret play with Tifa's body as she slept soundly. 'They have all the fun,' he though as he stared at them with piercing crimson eyes. 'When am I gonna get my shot at Tifa?' Surprised at the though as it crossed his mind Vincent shook his head violently. 'No, its best that I don't stoop to their level,' he reassured himself. 'I have a better shot at Yuffie anyway. She did manage to get me into this Speedo after all.' Vincent trail of though was broken when he heard a faint cry of someone calling his name. He turned to the direction of the voice and saw a young man standing on a surfboard calling to him.

"It's Cloud," he said to himself when he realized who the young man was. "He finally got on the surfboard, I see."

Cloud was waving his arms frantically now as he desperately tried to keep his balance on the surfboard. Vincent sighed. "Yes, I see you. You're doing a lovely job," he said in a tired voice. "What's that? You want me to count the seconds to your record? Very well. One Mississippi...two Mississippi...three Mississippi..."

This went on for ten whole Mississippi's till Cloud was wiped out by an unexpected wave that had crept up from behind him. "Oh well. I'll let the others know that you won this little bet," said Vincent as he turned to face the others again. It was time for him to switch sides again.

About ten minutes later something brushed up against Vincent's leg that almost made him jumped out of the water. He had though that it was a jellyfish but what he saw made his beautiful tan disappear from his body and he was pale again. A jellyfish did not brush up against his leg, since you can't feel them anyway, but a bloody arm limb. He glanced up toward the now setting sun as he saw Cloud's board drift to shore covered in blood with his trousers shorts lying on top of it. "Aw damn," he whispered as he picked up the limb and dragged the board out of the water.

Barret stuck the surfboard into the ground just behind Cloud's grave which use to be Cait Sith and Yuffie's empty hole.

"I think you jinxed his death," whispered Cait Sith in Yuffie's ear.

"I didn't mean it to ACTUALLY be someone's grave!!" squeaked Yuffie.

"Do you think that it's a good idea that we bury him here?" asked Red in a concerned voice.

"Hey, we buried Aeris near water, so we're gonna do the same with Cloud," said Cid as he fumbled with his lighter in attempt to light a cigarette.

"Actually, we just dumped Aeris body in a lake," corrected Tifa who shook her head in disbelief and wondered why she was covered in so much sunscreen.

"Are you suggesting that we dumped his body into the ocean?" asked Cid.

"Naw, that can't be good for the fish," Barret told him.

"I bet the sharks would like the rest of him," offered Vincent.

After taking one last look at there friend, AVALANCHE's ever shrinking group stumbled off the beach. They walked all the way to Highwind without saying a word till Vincent broke the awkward silent.

"You know, we should try doing this more often." Everyone turned and stared at him. "Going on vacation, I mean..."

"Yea, alright."

"Sure, I'm up for it."

"Lord knows I need it."

"After the next world crisis."

After the gang agreed in unison they all climbed aboard the Highwind and journeyed off to their next destination.


End file.
